Insensitive
by CareBehr
Summary: "How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?" AU M/L fic loosely based on the song of the same title
1. Default Chapter

Rating: PG13 for some language and very mild sexual content.  
Category: All M/L at this point, but be warned that it's not your typical dreamer story.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, it is now owned by UPN. I do own Jason Behr and Brendon Fehr though, both of whom reside in my closet and are my personal sex slaves ;) I also do not own The Crow or When Harry Met Sally, or the song Insensitive by Jann Arden.  
Distribution: I'd be flattered if you liked it enough to take it, just please ask first.  
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. I'm still a novice at fanfiction so be kind.  
Author's Note: This story is AU! For those of you who don't know, that means Alternate Universe. So kiddies, no aliens, just a straight story involving most of the characters. And honestly, some of the characters are going to be completely different from how they are in the show. But I think you'll enjoy it...  
  
How do you cool your lips?  
After a summer's kiss...  
  
August 29, 2001  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
My name is Liz Parker and tonight I'm going to tell you a story. A story of love, destiny, and heartbreak. It all started a little over two years ago...  
  
Fireworks exploded, birds sang, and violins played as the two embraced tenderly before moving together for a searing kiss. Simultaneous awws were heard from the girls as the guys began to pelt the screen with popcorn.  
  
"Enough of this chick flick crap," Kyle said. He pulled out another video and held it up for the guys' approval before unceremoniously shoving it into the VCR.  
  
"The Crow?" I said. "But isn't that just some stupid action-" I was cut off as the boys launched another popcorn attack, this time directed at me instead of the TV.  
  
"The Crow is not stupid!" Alex shouted. "The Crow is possibly the best movie ever made! And anyway it's better than that shit you made us sit through, When Harry Met Susie or whatever."  
  
Guys are so stupid. "It's When Harry Met Sally dumbass, and for your information it's pratically a classic."  
  
Kyle joined in the argument as well. "Classic means boring. Always does. Only good part was when the blond chick had a fake orgasm."  
  
I could see quickly there would be no winning this argument, not when guys have about two brain cells, both of which are probably used up between thinking about cars and sex. Finally things began to quiet down as the movie got under way. It actually turned out to be really intriguing, so much so that I almost missed Max drawing me towards the back of the room. Almost but not quite.  
  
"Hey," he said, his comment sounding more like breathing out then an actual word. But he didn't need to say anything. He never did; I was always transfixed the second I looked into those beautiful eyes.   
  
"Hi," I whispered back, suddenly feeling so awkward and unsure of myself. This was Max Evans, the guy of my dreams, the guy I'd always wanted but never truly had...what the hell was I doing standing in the back of a dark room with him?  
  
I had my answer as he slowly encircled my body with his arms, pulling me to him. He brushed his thumb over my lips, then followed it with his mouth. And you know what? I'm pretty sure those violins played for us too, because I have never felt anything more incredible in my life then the feeling of his lips on mine, his tongue seeking entrance before lightly caressing my own. Nothing after that kiss ever felt as right, and I know that at that very moment I feel hopelessly in love with a man who would be my downfall.  
  
But I've gotten ahead of myself; you must be confused; so I'll explain as best I can. The people you have already met are some of my friends, and more will enter later. Alex is a good friend of mine, and we used to fool around a little(what I can say, a girl gets urges sometimes). Second there's Kyle, another friend who I happened to have gone out with four times...I swear it's not as bad as it sounds! Roswell's just a small town, and you end up having a lot of history with the people in it. And Max, well you can figure out what he is to me. The forbidden treasure. Maybe not so forbidden anymore...  
  
Pulling his lips away from mine, he searched my eyes before leading me back to where the others were. He made himself comfortable in an easy chair before pulling me down onto his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist. Is it possible for a person to melt? I'm sure I must have melted into a pile of romantic goo right then. Or maybe I was just drooling. If you saw him you'd understand why. Handsome doesn't do him justice, it implies a roughness in the face, but that wasn't Max at all. His features bordered on feminine, and the only word I know to truly describe him is beautiful.   
  
After we all left from Kyle's house I practically flew up the stairs to my room. I exited through my window and grabbed my journal, preparing for a very long entry. To my surprise, I found I couldn't even put into words what I was feeling. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to write down my whole story. But at that time all I could do was sprawl out on my lawn chair, tracing my lips with fingertips. I could hardly believe that not more than an hour ago his mouth had covered mine with a breathtaking intensity. Staring numbly at the sky, I wondered what on earth I could have done to make the heavens be so good to me.  
  
I wish I could have foreseen the danger. Maybe in a way I did, because from the very start I knew that it was all too good to be true. And now, even two years later, I am still not happy. It's been so long since I was truly happy that my memory of it has been distorted into these choice events that I pass on to you. Back then I didn't have this nagging feeling in my stomach telling me I was about to lose it all. I can live without him, I've done it before. But I don't want to. He is my happiness.  



	2. Chapter 2

Rating: PG13 for some language, very mild sexual content, and images that may be disturbing to some people.  
Category: All M/L at this point, but be warned that it's not your typical dreamer story.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, it is now owned by UPN. I do own Jason Behr and Brendon Fehr though, both of whom reside in my closet and are my personal sex slaves ;) I also do not own the song Insensitive by Jann Arden.  
Distribution: I'd be flattered if you liked it enough to take it, just please ask first.  
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. I'm still a novice at fanfiction so be kind.  
Author's Note: This story is AU! For those of you who don't know, that means Alternate Universe. So kiddies, no aliens, just a straight story involving most of the characters. And honestly, some of the characters are going to be completely different from how they are in the show. Sorry if some of this part is a bit lame. The upcoming stuff will be more interesting once I get to it. I know exactly how this story will end up, so you can expect several more parts fairly soon hopefully. Also you might notice my little attempts to put references to the sky and 'not of this earth' etc., that's just me trying to be clever :)   
  
How do you rid the sweat?  
After the body bliss...  
  
August 31, 2001  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
My name is Liz Parker, and sometimes I want to die. To see the blood pour from my veins, rich and red and beautiful. But now's not the time for such things, and besides I'm too much of a coward to go through with something like that. I would have done it a long time ago if I had the courage. Or maybe I just have too much courage, so much that I'm brave enough to live through this. I guess I should tell you the rest of my story now, or as much as I can get through. Recounting these memories is hard for me though, not because it's been so long since they occurred. No, I can remember everything as if it were yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it really was yesterday, but then I remember that two years have gone by and I've wasted them away; I've wasted myself away. I immersed myself in a love so far gone, and ignored that I was fading a little more every day. Before Max, I used to think my best feature was my eyes, how they shone. But my eyes don't shine anymore. I suppose I should just get on with it and tell you why...  
  
Many days passed after that fateful winter's night when Max Evans claimed my heart. Christmas passed and New Year's too, then finally school was starting again, and with its starting I could see Max again. I was angered to find that he practically denied anything had ever happened between us. Sure, we'd talk in the halls and such, but he treated me like nothing more than a friend, and not even a good friend at that. How could he forget the passion that had existed between us, passion so unbelievable that it surely couldn't be of this earth! But it wasn't until several weeks later that I finally mustered up the courage to confront him.  
  
Max-  
You don't have to keep making up excuses for why we can't be together. I like you a lot, but I'm not gonna wait around for you forever.  
-Liz  
  
It was short and sweet and right to the point, but it must have done the trick, because the next day he asked me out! I didn't even have time to think about it; my mouth just blurted out "yes!" before my brain could even process it.  
  
So Max and I were together. I'd been infatuated with him for two years and finally I actually had him. It was too bad that it was a bittersweet kind of happiness. Our time was measured, and we only had six months left. God that sounds so melodramatic, like I'm dying of an incurable disease or something. It wasn't quite that bad. I guess in a way it was incurable, but its name wouldn't be cancer or leukemia. If I had to give it a name it would be 'my-dad's-been-transferred-and-we're-moving-to-Texas'. Wouldn't that be fun to have to write out on patient forms...Well that's my big secret. I knew even before Max and me became Max and me, but in my own selfishness I had to have him anyway. At first I thought I liked him only because I couldn't have him. But oh it was so much more than that! He was like an addiction, something I knew would be bad for me but so good that I couldn't stop. He was my heroin.  
  
I had never believed in love before. Especially not at my age, I didn't believe I was capable of loving someone. I laughed at those in serious relationships who had the audacity to think they'd be together forever. But I wanted to be with Max forever. You never imagine that something so amazing could change until it's forced on you. I never wanted the way things ended up between us, and sometimes I think I'd do anything to have him again. If even for one second he were mine, that one second of utter happiness would be worth any sacrifice in the world. Falling in love with Max was complete; it took over my entire being. He wormed his way into my heart and still resides there, in a way, even now. Everything I am became him, and once he was gone there was a vast emptiness left. When I look inside my head all I see are these broken pieces of him, of us, and of the person I used to be. I miss when everything was just simple. But then again it never really was simple with him, it was always complicated and volatile and amazing. We were dreamers, he and I. Dreamers daring to dream of a love to conquer all in a world where love is doomed to fail. But I didn't realize that until later  
  
What I thought in the beginning was entirely different from what life's little cruelties taught me to accept later on, and even that is completely different from what I know now. I didn't want to know anything except how wonderful it felt be the other half of Max Evans. That first month or so was like a dream; we were inseparable and couldn't keep our hands off each other. If we weren't holding hands, then he would have an arm draped possessively over my shoulder, or his hands would entangle in my hair as he kissed me senseless. Everything about him was amazing, and I wanted it all for myself. Finally things were going right for me. And that's when the rumors started.  
  



End file.
